Advice,  Listicles

Tips and Tricks: From a Disabled Dominatrix

Tips and Tricks from a disabled Dominatrix I

Clients, or at least dealing with clients can be tricky. I don’t session at all these days – it takes it too much out of me. Though, I never used to session often back when – I think I averaged 4 sessions a month on a good month. Why? My time and energy are precious so I treat it as such, after 12 years of chronic illness I’ve finally learnt that fact. I was also ill more often than not.

When I did session I developed a certain way of sessioning – a code of body kindness if you will.

First things first, type of client.

Clientele wise, I only took on clients that seemed affable. I could have taken on more clients, but I preferred a good gut feeling so I know that if worst comes to worst and I have to cancel they’ll be mostly okay with it. I also have an ‘in the unlikely event I have to cancel a new date shall be rearranged’ clause on all session requests. Also, if I did have to rearrange I used to add a little five-minute mini video or audio as a gesture of goodwill. Though, most of the clients were fine to change because I screened thoroughly and made sure to include being okay with a date change if needed.

Next, contingencies.

  1. Everyone, I sessioned with had to have an “easy” fetish. An ‘I could sit here and do nothing’ fetish. For example, foot worship, verbal degradation, being locked upright in a cage and taunted etc. That way if something were to happen mid-session with my health or I mentally froze they’d still get their kicks, and I got to recoup.
  2. Before the session, I wrote down a few ‘go-to’ lines on paper or on my phone. That way they could be incorporated if I panicked – see point one. I planned around a few easier fetishes and added more complex ones if I felt up to it.
  3. Music. I always had music. It was useful to have music as an excuse as if I needed to check my phone for the above. I could do so under the presence I want to change the track (though creating a playlist in advance is a good idea). Unless specified I always had the same sort of music so it helped my head slip into ‘badass bitch’ mode.
  4. Limit your session activities and work sessions around your comfort. Do things that come naturally. I refused, for the most part, to allow strap-on, face sitting, hand spanking activities because it expended too much energy. Since CBT, CP, and SPH all come naturally to me so I don’t have to be switched on as much.
  5. Create a cheat sheet. I highly recommend cheat sheets in all walks of life. For each client, I’d create no more than a revision card’s worth of notes: name, age, favourite fetishes, key phrases and such, that way I could refer to, like point number 1, if I got stuck mid-session.

Do you have any key tips for sessioning whilst disabled or chronically ill?

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  • Self-professed 'Professional (Disabled) Internet Human' Ruby Rousson runs Arousibility, The Ruby Umbrella and a number of other sites that all aim to help disabled and chronically ill people in some way shape or form. Twitter and Instagram: @MissRubyRousson

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